Posts Tagged ‘women’
Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon
Recently, I worked with a client who was having a problem with some of the women in her organization. The organization had just undergone major changes, which resulted in different reporting relationships for many of the women. The problem was that the women were having trouble effectively communicating with their new bosses.
Before the changes, the women were able to work with their supervisors very successfully. They and their supervisors shared similar communication styles, so they complemented each other quite well. However, when the women were reassigned, their communication styles differed dramatically from those of their new supervisors. Instead of being able to get along with their new bosses, they experienced a lot of conflict every time they spoke to them.
What happened? Why were these women who were so successful in dealing with one type of person having so much trouble dealing with a different type of person? It is because the communication styles no longer matched and when styles don’t match, problems are almost certain to develop. (One point worth mentioning ? while we are talking about women in this situation, this problem occurs equally as often with men if they mismatch the people with whom they are communicating).
Many of us make a critical mistake when we interact with others. We believe that everyone perceives the world the same way we do. This assumption can lead to strained relationships, conflict, or worse. People are different and while we may find a large number of people who are like us, we will find an even greater number of people who are not like us.
People make unconscious decisions about whether or not they feel comfortable with us. If our styles of communicating are like theirs, we can usually develop rapport with them easily. However, if our styles are very different from theirs, they feel an unconsciousness sense of tension whenever we are around. Tension between people usually does not lead to successful interactions.
To be champion communicators, we need to change our approach to match the specific style of each individual we wish to influence. This is a powerful way to get people to feel comfortable with us; when people are comfortable with us, they are more willing to be open to what we have to say. There are four major communication styles. While everyone has some of each style incorporated into his or her own unique personality, each of us has a predominant style.
Amiables ? Are very cooperative, they get along with others, they are self-controlled, systematic, stable, patient, perseverant, accommodating, and logical. They are motivated by feeling secure, being part of a team, and feeling appreciated. They dislike conflict, taking risks and change.
Analyticals – Are rational, detail oriented, organized, unemotional, process-oriented, logical, and cautious. They are motivated by being right, doing things themselves, and being noticed for their accuracy. They dislike aggressiveness, conflict, or being forced to make quick decisions.
Drivers – Are aggressive, impatient, and results oriented. They are motivated by being in control, being number one, having personal choices, fast actions, and change. They dislike details, long drawn out conversations, and not being in charge.
Expressives – Are friendly, talkative, emotional, optimistic, people oriented, and enthusiastic. They are motivated by being liked, having fun, being noticed, and receiving approval. They dislike conflict, details, and focusing only on the business at hand.
When you recognize someone’s predominant style (especially if it differs from your own), use that style when communicating with him or her. Going back to our example with the women who were reassigned, most of them used an amiable approach, which is somewhat slow paced. However, most of their new supervisors were drivers who wanted information quickly and succinctly. After learning about different communication styles, the women used a quicker, more results oriented approach with their bosses and they were able to work together successfully.
A champion is someone who can be successful no matter what the circumstances. By adopting a chameleon communication strategy, you can change your style to match the person you are with and then you can be a champion too.
Della Menechella is a speaker, author, and trainer who helps organizations achieve greater success by improving the performance of their people. She is a contributing author to Thriving in the Midst of Change and the author of the videotape The Twelve Commandments of Goal Setting. She can be reached at della@dellamenechella.com. Subscribe to free Peak Performance Pointers e-zine – send blank e-mail to subscribe@dellamenechella.com.
12 Steps to Targeting Success in Your Career or Job Search
Is your job search sagging? Are you still looking for that ideal next job? Or are you about to begin looking for new work and are not sure of the best way to go about it? What you need is a way to evaluate your job search strategies to see whether or not they are working effectively for you.
Ready to get started? Here are 12 building blocks to a successful job search and the goals that will help you get to where you really want to be in the world of work:
1.) Making networking phone calls: Effective job searches begin and end with networking. Start by making a list of everyone you know: family members, extended family, friends, present & past co-workers, faith community colleagues, barber/hairdresser, dog groomer, neighbors. Even list the clerks who work in your favorite grocery or video store, bank tellers and gas station attendants. Everyone! Call or talk to each person on your list (most people can easily produce a list of 50-100 people). Target: Make 3-5 new networking phone calls weekly.
2.) Contacting employers before openings occur: The process of applying for a job before an opening is known to be present is referred to as “accessing the hidden job market” – and doing so is critical for job search success. By using a great on-line tool such as Reference USA to access employer information, you can mail targeted resumes and cover letters to companies that match your size, focus and sales criteria. Target: Mail 5-10 targeted but unsolicited resumes with cover letters weekly.
3.) Responding to online postings: There are literally hundreds of sites like Monster.com, and you can pour hours and hours into searching them for job opportunities. Remember to search on multiple titles or portions of titles and to post your resume at every opportunity. Target: respond to 3-5 postings weekly.
4.) Responding to newspaper help wanted ads: This is the favorite job seeking strategy of searchers everywhere, but guess what? Out of every 100 resumes an employer receives, they will throw away 92-95! Target: Submit only 3-5 resumes and cover letters weekly in response to help wanted ads.
5.) Identifying new employers to contact: Find employers the old-fashioned way: in phone books, through networking leads, through word-of-mouth, in reference sources and online databases (such as Reference USA, mentioned above), through articles in local papers and through the Yellow Pages of your local phone directory. Target: Identify and research 5 new employers weekly and use them to fill your quota for #2, above.
6.) Contacting recruiters and employment agencies: It’s not appropriate for every job seeker to contact recruiters and employment agencies, but if this strategy makes sense for you, then by all means make use of them. Target: Contact 1 new recruiter or agency weekly.
7.) Making follow-up phone calls & sending thank you letters/cards: Sending out resumes and cover letters is only the first step in the process of developing relationships with employers. About 1 ½ to 2 weeks afterward, call them to verify they received your materials and to inquire about next steps. Always follow-up on interviews and make is a habit to send thank you letters or cards afterward as well. Target: Make 5-10 follow-up phone calls weekly and send a thank you letter or card for every job interview or informational interview you participate in each week.
8.) Managing your references: How do you “manage” references? Supply each one with a copy of each version of your resume. Keep them up-to-date on what is happening in your job search. You don’t need to call them weekly, but you should generate news every few weeks at least. Give your references a copy of all the references you’re using so each one can refer an employer on to someone else on the list if asked. Prepare your references by giving them background information, adjectives and descriptive words that “sell” your best stuff. Target: Contact each reference at least once per month during your active job search and contact everyone when that perfect opportunity comes along to prepare them.
9.) Practicing interview answers: Don’t just practice the night before an interview. Target: Practice your interview answers and questions at least 1 time per week.
10.) Practicing the salary negotiations process: Ditto with salary negotiations. Target: Practice your strategies and responses at least 1-2 times per week.
11.) Staying socially connected with employed others: Job searching is extremely lonely, so make sure you stay socially involved with family and friends. Target: Get out of the house at least 2 times weekly to see friends or extended family.
12.) Managing your attitude and energy: This is the most important building block of all, because without a positive attitude and high, focused energy, you won’t achieve the result you want. Targets: Do at least 1 fun and creative thing outside your house weekly.
Why not take Fridays off (if you’re unemployed) and enjoy! Absolutely, categorically don’t job search on weekends. Exercise, take care of your body, and journal. Feed your mind good books and your spirit hope.
Strengthen or do more of what works. Adapt, replace or fix what does not work. Reevaluate your search progress every 30 days for as long as it takes for you to find the work you really want. And, if your job search results do not markedly improve within 45 days, see a career search professional for individualized assistance.
Cheryl Lynch Simpson is a Spiritual Director and Solutions Coach who helps women discover and create the life they’ve always wanted to live. Cheryl is the author of over 30 print/Internet articles and the founder of Coaching Solutions For Women, a coaching website that produces and showcases career, business, and life solutions that improve the life balance of today’s busy women. For a complimentary copy of her latest e-book, Ten-Minute Stress Zappers for Women Service Business Owners, visit http://www.coachingsolutionsforwomen.com.
Googling for Love
Google: (GOO.gul) v. To use an Internet search engine such as Google.com to look for information related to a new or potential girlfriend or boyfriend.
Have you Googled yourself yet? Can anyone resist? If you haven’t had the pleasure, here’s how:
Go to Google.com, type your name in quotation marks, and see what comes up.
A lot depends on how common your name is (like John Smith). I tend to get references to nobility (that’s the Lord part), and the genealogy citations are many. But sure enough, there’s my house in Maine (I rent it during the summer from an Internet ad) and stained glass courses that my husband Drew and I have taught. When I add my middle initial B, then the references are pure cyber romance. Yea!
Drew’s name gets his scientific publications. If I had googled him when we were courting, I would not have made the embarrassing gaff of bragging about my publications (2). He had me beat hands down. But also, that Google search would have added to his credibility, because he is cited over and over as a scientist and connected with the Army Corps of Engineers. I would have been reassured.
But what if other connections had come up? Somebody with my name is a personnel expert. Also, it sounds as if my name is common in England. Maybe there is worse, buried under my name in the Net.
Seems like it is a good idea to be aware of what comes up if your name is Googled, sort of like keeping track of your credit report. If something negative comes up under your name and it’s not you, you need to know that and be able to explain it to another. If it’s not so good and IS you, you need to know and explain that, too.
While visiting some of my older relatives recently, they were quite interested in being Googled. My favorite uncle, who has an unusual spelling of his last name, shares that spelling with a rather well known gay porn star. Or at least, we assume the gay porn star and my uncle are not the same guy. The porn star does sound like he has some rather amazing physical attributes. That’s the kind of Google citations associated with your name that it is good to know about!
There seems to be some embarrassment associated with Googling a prospective date or partner, but I can’t see why that would be so. Unless it appears being a little too interested, like “I can’t be bothered to check credentials, even though I have an easy way to do so. This person just doesn’t matter that much to me.” Why would you want to convey that message?
Especially if you are using the Internet for a mate search, it only makes good sense that you would use one of CyberSpace’s best tools to help you make a safe and secure match.
But it also points out the need to keep one’s cyber nose clean. It follows that if you are doing something that you wouldn’t want anyone to know that you are doing, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it.
So Google away!
Kathryn Lord © 2004 All Rights Reserved
About The Author
Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach
Helping singles find someone wonderful!
eBk: “Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women”
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1 Step You Should Take to Alleviate Anxiety When Meeting Women
Has a similar scenario like this one ever happened to you before?
You’ve met a pretty lady on a matcher maker website and you’ve both planned to hook up at a local coffee shop to meet in person for the first time. You’re quite excited by this meet and greet as you think she is quite a hottie. But once you get there, anxiety kicks in and you feel your heart about to jump out of your throat as you head to approach her.
Yes, she is even more beautiful then the pictures she had shown you, this has in turn created even more anxiety, and as you go to greet her suddenly, your mind draws a blank, you look for some words desperately to pull from your mind to say to her, you’ve managed to stutter out a sentence and your not even sure if it had made any sense!
Well, maybe you haven’t experienced that exact same scenario; however I’m sure you’ve probably experienced something similar. That is just one of many examples of anxiety when approaching women.
The good news is, there are ways of eliminating this type of anxiety. I will show you one of the methods you can use right now in order to put a stop to your mind drawing a blank.
The first thing you need to do is to pre-plan some of your conversations with the lady in question.
The absolute best way to do this is to get a piece of pen and paper to write down what you plan to talk about. Writing it down, will help it sink into your subconscious so you’re less likely to draw a blank when you approach her. Also, after you have written down some topics you plan to speak with her about, read it over and over again, and play the scenario over in your mind.
1. Plan Your Greeting ? Make sure you make eye contact and stand with good posture. Making good eye contact and standing with good posture will give her the impression that you have high confidence ? women are very attracted to a man that is confident. And you will feel more relaxed when you the positive reaction she will give when you exert this type of confidence.
2. Write down some questions you would like to ask her. This is good for a number of reasons. It helps you get to know her better ? this is quite an important detail if you want it to go further (possible relationship), you will begin to feel more at ease as you get to know her and she’s going to be as happy as a sperm whale is in squid infested waters because she gets a great opportunity to speak about herself. Women love talking about themselves.
3. Prepare to tell a story. Everyone enjoys a good story and it often triggers a memory for them to reciprocate one in return. Here is one of my stories that may help you trigger some memories for yourself. So you can begin planning some of your stories.
This back dates to when I was 5. I love telling stories about my childhood; I was adventurous and really quite devious.
I had not long started school, (I wasn’t particularly fond of school when I first started, in fact I even told my mother on the first day of returning home from school that they didn’t need me to go anymore, I told her they already had enough kids in the class).
We were living in a house on stilts is what I’d call it. But back in those days, they were pretty popular (the-in-thing). There were two stairways. One was through the back door and one through to the front door.
My brother, Daniel was a few years younger then myself so he would wait at home for me each day by the front door, but would never see me come through it. So curiosity got the better of him and he asked me how I get inside the house after I finish school each day.
I told him I had magical powers and that I could walk through walls. He was totally amazed and asked if I could give him the power to walk through walls as well. I obliged, waved my hands around a bit and said “there, now you got the power too, what you got to do is run as fast as you can into the wall”.
You could just imagine his disappointment when he planted face first into the wall only to discover there was no magical power of walking through walls 
© Joanne King – http://www.anxiety-panic-free.com/approachwomen.html
About the Author – Joanne King is a former sufferer of Anxiety & Panic Attacks. She is the author of two books “How to Overcome Anxiety & Panic Attacks” & “How to Overcome Anxiety When Approaching Women” She has helped other sufferers WorldWide to eliminate their Anxiety & Panic. http://www.anxiety-panic-free.com Get your FREE e-book “The 5 Tell-Tale Body Language Secrets You Must Know about Women” at http://www.anxiety-panic-free.com/approachwomen.html
Miss USA 2010 Contest Ever Come Dancing Strip
Women of Arab descent, Rima Fakih, who recently won Miss USA in 2010, directly exposed to the news side. Rima rumored to have taken a striptease dance contest.
Quoted by the Herald Sun, Tuesday (05/18/2010), striptease dance contest was sponsored by a radio station in Detroit. Rima day after the victory, Detroit radio station Channel 99.5, immediately released a photo of the Miss USA action when dancing striptease.
Dara 24 years appeared wearing red hot pants and a blue tank top. He twisted his body in the pile-liukkan striptease.
Rima action watched by the women. There are no male spectators at the event. Throughout the action, Miss Michigan USA origin that did not remove her clothes.
In the contest, women-United States of Lebanese descent was steal first prize. He brought home a gift of jewelry, and a pile of sex toys striptease.
Rima Fakih is the first Arab woman to win Miss USA. In the event, Rima was voted winner defeating 50 other finalists
