Posts Tagged ‘mind’
Mind Your Mind
Three Secrets to Effective Affirmations:
1 Drive your Physiology – by this I mean get yourself into a dynamic state of mine by moving your body energetically. I find walking quickly, cycling or jumping around the house while listening to loud music, all very effective for me. When you feel energized you will put more enthusiasm and emotion into your affirmations and you will make a bigger impression on your mind.
Then say your short positive statement out loud if it is appropriate, otherwise shout it out inside your head where only you can hear it.
2 Create short statements
These statements will describe how you want to be and it is best to state these attributes in the present tense as if it is already true.
For example, *I am confident and appreciated by all* Instead of… *I want to have more confidence someday only I do not know when that is likely to be because I have a few problems to deal with right now.*
When you say your affirmation, assume it is already true and express this feeling as you repeat the phrase. This way you are programming your brain to find a way for you to achieve your goal.
3 Use the Ultimate Affirmation:
The ultimate affirmation is ideal for anyone who wants to communicate at their best under pressure. Here it is…
*I love myself*
I know this seems a bit far out. Let me explain. Let us pretend, just for a moment, that you completely love yourself 100 per cent. So this would mean you fully accept all aspects of yourself, your body, your bad habits, your personal limitations etc.
If this was the case, the opinion of other people would be totally irrelevant. You would then have no barriers to speaking at your best.
At first repeating * I love myself* is likely to cause you to feel awkward, embarrassed or just plain silly. If that happens you will know that you are on the right track because that is evidence that you are challenging limiting beliefs you already have about your value as a person.
For the more adventurous, try this in front of a mirror. It freaked me out the first time I did it. Although I soon got the hang of it.
Play with this approach to managing your mind and you will soon discover that the secret is to use affirmations with intensity. Enjoy your journey!
Peter Murphy is a freelance business writer. He publishes a free weekly ezine full of practical tips for communicating at your best under pressure. All new subscribers receive a free e-book with powerful strategies for being at your best.
Driving To Your Goals
Every time you get in your car to go anywhere, you are working on achieving a goal. There is somewhere you want to be, so you take action to get there. The three major things that get you where you want to go when driving are a specific destination, directions for getting there, and a way to track your progress. You must also have these three things to achieve any goal.
Specific Destination
Before even getting into your car, you must know where you are going. Unless you have a specific destination, you’re just moving the car and wasting gas. There isn’t anything particularly wrong with this; some people enjoy just driving around and looking at the scenery. But if you want to get somewhere, you must know where you are going.
When setting your goals, you must know exactly what it is that you want. Get a clear picture of it in your mind. If it’s a new job, picture yourself in that job. If it’s more money, visualize that monthly bank statement. Imagine what you will feel like when you reach whatever it is you are striving for. Write it down, like you would write down the address of a house you are visiting for the first time.
Directions
If this is a destination you’ve been to before, you don’t need directions. It’s automatic, like tying your shoes or chewing your food. But what if it’s somewhere you’ve never been before? How do you get there?
You ask. You ask someone who’s been there before. You pull out a map. You check the Internet. The directions may not be perfect, and often they aren’t. “It’s either the second or third light, I can’t remember which,” is something often heard when getting driving directions. But you get the best directions you can.
Goal setting is the same. You get in touch with others who already have what you want. You read books, you listen to tapes, you attend seminars. You get as much information as possible that will assist you in reaching your goal.
Tracking Your Progress
You know where you are going and you’ve got your directions, so now it’s time to take some action! You hop in the car and you’re off!
But wait! It wasn’t the second or third light, it was the fourth! So what do you do when you realize you are off course? You check your map, you pull into the nearest gas station, or you make a phone call. You try to get back on track. But you don’t give up! You don’t turn around at the first closed road and go back home, saying “I didn’t really want to get there anyway.” If this were to happen, you’d never get anywhere you hadn’t been before, and your life would be pretty limited. Even if you have to head all the way back home, you start again. Eventually, you get to that destination, and isn’t it even more exciting when you get there after a difficult journey!
You may get sidetracked on your journey. If you get hungry, you stop for a bite. If you need to use the restroom, you stop to take care of that. But do you stay stopped? Do you sit in the restroom all day, wondering why you aren’t where you want to be? No, you do what you need to do and continue on.
Don’t quit on your goals, either. There may be setbacks, dead ends, even car accidents. But don’t forget that you’ll never get there if you don’t keep taking action and moving towards your destination. When that prospect says no, it’s not a failure; it’s another mile under your belt. When nothing seems to happen for a long period of time, you’re just getting closer to that next landmark. If you’re not sure what to do next, don’t be too embarrassed to stop and ask for those directions!
About The Author
Lyman Reed is the webmaster of Inspiration, Motivation, and Wisdom for Living – http://www.motiration.com/ a website dedicated to providing informational tools which help individuals improve their lives. He can be contacted via email at lyman@motiration.com. This article may be freely used in any publication, providing it is not changed in any way and this “About the author” text is included.
Simple Beauty – 10 Tips that are Free and Easy
It is simple to look and feel more beautiful starting today. You can even put away your pocketbook because these tips are free.
1. Smile… it will brighten your day and others around you will feel your energy.
2. Stretch… cats know that total body stretch does wonders. Follow their example and roll up slowly out of bed and stretch gently. (For more tips on stretching here is a great book: AM/ PM Stretch for Health.)
3. Exercise… at least 20 mins of any continuous activity will boost your energy level and reduce bad stressors. You don’t even to pay a membership fee. The key is continuous like a 20min walk or even mopping your floors. You will look and feel better.
4. Drink water. No other liquid is quite like it. Clear your system. 8 glasses are recommended daily. Your skin will radiate.
5. Rest… you need to take breaks during the day and sleep at night. Takes breaks away from work space to keep fresh and focused. Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep at night since your body regenerates while you are sleeping. If you are constantly letting your mind wonder make a conscious decision to put away thoughts till morning. It is amazing how good your subconscious mind listens to your conscious mind (so be careful what you tell yourself)
6. Do good. When you do something for someone else without expecting anything in return you benefit in ways unimaginable. (the key is don’t expect anything in return)
7. Exchange… the money you spend on junk food for food that will enrich your body and soul. Start with a simple plan of exchange. Because some think healthy foods cost more, find out your spending pattern by making 2 lists:
. foods you like that are healthy that you normally don’t buy
. foods you like that are “junk food” that you normally buy
calculate the cost of the 2nd list then use this amount to fund your “healthy” purchase. (of course you have to say bye-bye to the “junk food”)
8. “Stop and smell the roses”. Look for good in everything. This is a toughie because most of us are “trained” to look for faults, errors, shortcomings, defects, etc. Begin with yourself. List all your assets (not just physical). Then realize all the good in being you. Move on to other things around you. Work on this consciously every day till it becomes a habit. There is something good about everything and everyone. Once you realize this you will be finding good everywhere without even trying.
9. Learn… something new every day. Pick up a book. or search online. Learn to do something you have always wanted to do. You can even start for free by researching online. Search the subject and start stimulating and enriching your mind today.
10. Reward yourself. Set financial and personal goals and tag them with rewards for accomplishing them. (this one may be something special you have always wanted to do. and not necessarily a purchase.. But if you have done all the above maybe go ahead and splurge a little. You deserve it!
Marie Gervacio is founder and editor of SimpleBeautyTips.com , ShineYourStar.com and WhoisMarieGervacio.com/index.html Get free info and downloads on beauty at http://simplebeautytips.com
Fix Your Slice: The Cause & Simple Cures For The Beginner Golfer
Are you slicing all or some of your tee shots? If so, you are no different than most new golfers, And even more experienced golfers still slice shots from time to time. Here are some simple things you can try to fix it:
First, the problem is hardly ever the club. If you feel it is, have your driver examined by your local pro-shop, so no doubt lingers in your mind.
Now, let’s consider what happens to a sliced ball when it is in the air. Here it seems best to state exactly what is meant by the term ’sliced ball’ because a drive that finishes in the rough on the right of the fairway is not necessarily sliced. A sliced drive is one that starts straight, or nearly straight, from the tee and curls in the right of the line on which it started. The reason for this is that the ball is spinning from left to right, and the air pressure, being greater on the side which is turning into the wind, in this case the left side, pushes the ball to the right. A ball that is correctly driven has back-spin imparted to it by the club, and the air pressing on the underside of the ball tends to make it rise in flight. A hooked ball naturally has the reverse spin to a sliced ball.
This is very basic, but it is useful knowledge from a beginner’s point of view, because it may give you a clue as to why you are slicing: To impart a left-to- right spin to a ball, the face of the club must be drawn from right to left across the ball during the moment of impact. This right-to-left movement of the club may be the result of several faults: the player may be hitting at the ball, instead of through it, in other words, checking the swing of the club at a critical moment; or the grip may be faulty, too tight with the left hand, too loose with the right, possibly the position of the hands on the shaft may be wrong; or the player may be drawing in his arms and not throwing them, as it were, after the ball. Certainly the best method of locating the fault is to go to your local professional, but if that is not possible, most experienced golfers would be able to spot it.
But once the problem is found it, is by no means cured; it is quite possible to know what you are doing wrong without being able to prevent yourself from continuing to do it!
Sometimes a simple cure will overcome the slicing habit: Try turning the right hand a little more under the shaft or gripping a little tighter with it. You can also try taking up the normal stance and then drawing the right foot back a few inches.
In the beginners’ case slicing is just going to happen! But I’m convinced that if the beginner works hard, it can be cured in a month or two instead of wearing itself out perhaps in the course of a year or even longer.
© BlackCash Enterprises, LLC ? All Rights Reserved.
Jarrod Cash & Michael Black have created: “Psychology of Golf: The Complete Study Course.” Available at http://www.LostGolfSecrets.com If these simple cures don’t fix your slice, learn advanced mental golf techniques to stop slicing for good!
Sawbones
I was rushing through the white-tented terminal building at Denver International Airport when my attention was diverted ? as if often is — by a storefront massage business. Checking my wristwatch, I calculated I had just enough time for a 20-minute chair massage.
I settled onto the light gray vinyl chair and placed my face inside the cushioned headrest. The massage therapist introduced himself. “I’m Lee,” he said. “But you can call me Sawbones.”
He must have seen the cartoon question mark floating above my head in an imaginary white bubble -”Sawbones?”-for he went on to tell me about himself.
Digging his thumbs into the back of my neck, Sawbones explained that massage was a new line of work for him.
“Do you like it?” I asked, my words muffled by the cushioned face rest.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, revealing a slight rancher’s drawl. “I get to meet interesting people, especially here at the airport. A few weeks ago, I massaged the lawyer for the Oklahoma City Bomber. He was on his way to his client’s execution.” Sawbones paused, as if remembering the occasion. “He was a little tense.”
Although his comment demanded a sarcastic response, I couldn’t think of one fast enough. Instead, I asked Sawbones if he worked only at the airport.
“No, ma’am. I also have an office by the Stock Show Complex.”
“The Stock Show Complex?”
“Yes, ma’am. That’s because I have another business. Custom cowboy hats.”
The cartoon question mark re-appeared. “Cowboy hats?”
“Yes, ma’am. I sell them at the Grizzly Rose, the country-western bar north of downtown.”
I inhaled the rosemary scent of the massage oil and debated whether to prod Sawbones for more information. Since I was unlikely to meet another cowboy-hat-making-masseur in the near future, I asked him if his massage business was growing.
“Yes, ma’am. See, I do horses too.”
“Horses?” I asked, feeling like I was being sucked down a conversational rabbit hole.
“Yes, ma’am. Horses like massage. They can get testy though.”
“I’ll bet.” I pictured a blonde Palomino lying hooves up on a massage table.
As Sawbones kneaded my upper arms, he asked what I did for a living.
“I’m a writer,” I said. Actually, I didn’t say that, because just then, Sawbones’ fingers pushed my head into the headrest making my answer sound more like “Imamiffer.”
Sawbones was unfazed. “Really?!” he exclaimed. “I’m a writer too!” He said this as if we were distant cousins meeting at a genealogy conference. “I write scripts!”
“Scripts?”
“Yes, ma’am. See, I also perform in Wild West Shows.”
The rabbit hole was getting deeper by the second. “What kinds of things are in your shows?”
“Shoot-outs. Stuff like that. I have a friend who looks like Abraham Lincoln. He’s gonna be in our show tomorrow night.”
Now, I’ve never been that great at history but I’ve never really pictured Abe Lincoln in a shoot-out, except, of course, for the incident at Ford’s Theater. I was about to ask Sawbones how Abe figured into his act when he pulled my arms behind my back and away from my body as if dressing a chicken. “You sure got some knots under here,” he said, poking underneath my shoulder blades. I began to comprehend the testiness of his equine clients.
Soon, our 20-minutes was up and Sawbones handed me his business card. “Massage,” it read. “For Horses and Humans.” “Just for future reference,” he added, “I also do home massage. It’s only 50 bucks and I bring my own table, oil, and CDs.” I accepted the card graciously even though I was fairly certain I’d never pay a man named Sawbones to tote oil and soft music into my house.
It’s been a week since my encounter with the custom-cowboy-hat-making, wild-west-show-performing, horse-and-human massage therapist and I can’t get him out of my mind.
Now, I know there are people who might find Sawbones a little low brow and unfocused. These people would assume Sawbones was a drifter who hadn’t found his true calling. But to me, Sawbones is wise. He can work indoors or out. He works with his hands and his mind. He also has built-in job security. The bottom could fall out of the cowboy hat market and Sawbones would still make it in the world.
Furthermore, Sawbones has already figured out what many of us spend our entire careers learning: How important it is to try new things. “Ma’am,” he said, “I do all these things because I promised myself I would never do the same boring thing all day long.”
Many people I know have said this same thing to themselves at one time or another. But the difference between Sawbones and most people is that he is not afraid to tackle new challenges, even if those challenges involve tense attorneys and testy horses. So think about Sawbones the next time you’re confronted with a new opportunity. Even if the job or project doesn’t work out the way you expected, you might end up with good fodder for airport conversation.
Copyright, 2005, Shari Caudron.
Shari Caudron is an award-winning columnist, writing coach, and author of “What Really Happened,” a collection of humorous stories about the lessons life teaches you when you least expect it. Shari regularly delivers speeches to women’s groups about how to transform ordinary experiences into opportunities for personal growth. Website: http://www.sharicaudron.com e-mail: shari@sharicaudron.com
Get a Raise: How To Ask Your Boss For More Money
How many people do you know who think they deserve a pay rise, but are too scared to ask? You might even be one of those people! Why is it we are afraid to ask for what we believe we are worth? It’s time to stop worrying and start asking, but before you charge into your boss’s office give yourself the best chance of success with these helpful tips?then book that meeting with the boss.
Do an audit. Make a huge list of all your achievements in your current role. Think about where you add value to your organisation and how you have grown the business. List both demonstrable results such as statistics, sales figures, client testimonials and reports as well as those things that can be a little more difficult to quantify, such as improving staff morale.
Know what you’re worth. Find out what similar jobs to yours are paying in the market. Look at the same industry and other industries to determine what your market value is and what type of additional package benefits are on offer for similar roles.
Create your ideal package. Make a list of what you would like to receive in salary, car allowance, employee benefits, superannuation and time off. Look at the total dollar value of the package ? don’t focus only on the individual components.
Consider the organisational situation. Be aware of how the organisation is performing before you approach your manager. If times are tough, your proposal is less likely to be considered but if the company is performing well your manager might be more open to your request.
Book a time. Make an appointment with your manager and let him or her know that the agenda will be your remuneration package. Try to schedule this appointment for early in the day so your manager is not distracted by competing priorities and you are not spending a nervous day waiting for the appointment time.
Practice. Go over your presentation in your mind and perhaps even with a friend or colleague. Know what it is you want to say and why you believe you deserve this raise.
Objection! List all of your manager’s potential objections and consider how you would respond to them.
Be calm and positive. Take a few deep breaths before the meeting and remind yourself of why you deserve this raise and the positive impact it will have on your life. Don’t approach your manager timidly or they won’t believe you are worth the raise. Believe in yourself and your achievements.
Be aware of body language. Make sure you sit forward in your chair, your shoulders are straight, sit forward in your chair and make eye contact and smile. Try to appear relaxed and comfortable not nervous and fidgety.
Build your case. Before you launch into your presentation about what you want and why you deserve a raise, ask your manager these questions:
How do you feel I have been performing over the past few months?
Do you agree I have added value/sales/benefits to this organisation?
Are you happy with my performance to date?
Your manager’s responses to these questions will allow you to understand what his or her opinion of your performance is and help you to position your request in light of their responses.
Be assertive. Use positive assertive, not aggressive, language when you are making your case for why you deserve this increase; don’t moan or complain. Talk about the benefits to the company and to you.
Don’t blink, don’t look away. When you do tell your manager the total package figure you would like to receive, don’t blink and don’t look away. Hold their gaze and remain calm.
Allow your manager to respond. Remember, you’ve been thinking about this and putting together your proposal for some time ? this is the first your manager has heard about it, give him or her time to respond and process your request. Don’t talk while they are responding, let them talk through their thoughts and issues without interruption. Allow yourself to sit in silence if required. Don’t try to fill any silence with further explanation or justification.
Be flexible. If appropriate, let your manager know that you are prepared to be flexible in how the raise is provided to you perhaps is can be phased in, include a bonus or one-off payment or involve changing the structure of your current package.
Agree on a response timeframe. If your manger can’t give you an answer immediately, agree on a timeframe within which he or she will come back to you with an answer. Around one-week should be an appropriate amount of time.
Neen is a Global Productivity Expert: by looking at how they spend their time and energy ? and where they focus their attention ? Neen helps people to rocket-charge their productivity and performance. A dynamic speaker, author and corporate trainer, Neen demonstrates how boosting your productivity can help you achieve amazing things. With her unique voice, sense of fun and uncommon common-sense, Neen delivers a powerful lesson in productivity. Find out more at http://neenjames.com/
Internet Affiliate Business: 5 Ways to Grow It Organically
Growing your internet home business organically means there are similarities to organic farming. An organic farmer knows that if he develops healthy soil, he will have healthy plants. He also knows that “to every thing there is a time and a season.” You can’t harvest in the spring, or plant in the winter.
1. Nourishing the soil in preparation for planting your business means identifying your expertise and passion, and researching to find out what’s “hot”. What is it you want to grow? What seeds do you already have? What affiliate program suits you best? Find the product or products you can endorse, the company with a history that also offers the best commission rate, the experienced team that will support and help you all the way.
Next research your competition. Who are they? Why would a customer rather buy from you? Study their websites and find your niche. What makes your site special? The beauty of the internet is that the “playing field” is level. Big biz competes side by side with small.
2. Promoting your business is like irrigating and cultivating. How and where will you place ads? Keep exact records of where you advertise and what results you achieve. Prune back what doesn’t work. Link to like sites with good content.
3. Nourishment is adding articles, maybe a blog, tweak that website! Search engines love changes. Nourish your mind, too. Read the success stories of those who have gone before, join a business organization and connect with mentors, form partnerships. There is nothing to keep you from joining your local Chamber of Commerce. Swap ads with webmasters whose sites complement yours.
4. Before you know it, you may be swamped and need some help. The “organic” way to grow is to ask family members to pitch in. They’re already expecting to share the wealth once it’s harvest time anyways, they’ll probably be willing to help get you there.
5. After you’ve harvested, at some point you will think about planting new seeds. Once your website is getting lots of hits and your business is blooming, your articles are out there and your name is being recognized, you can capitalize on your success by developing a product of your own. It will seem natural to turn your articles into a book, or develop an internet business course or newsletter.
There’s nothing easy or effortless about developing your own business, but also nothing quite as exciting or rewarding.
Time to start nourishing that soil.
Glenn Beach is a poet, writer and home business entrepreneur in Nova Scotia, Canada. Free newsletter, more articles, and business start-up info at: http://www.work-at-home-business-opportunity-canada.com
10 Secrets to Write Your eBook Like a Winner!
You already have what it takes to write your first e-book. And like other winners you can create or increase your passive income stream each month. Your winning competitors wish you would never discover these secrets.
You may be asking “What if I don’t have the mind of a techie?” You can still write your winner e-book and start earning in a few weeks. Start by solving your readers’ problems using your expert knowledge. You know the articles and reports already in your files. Expand one of your articles or speeches into a short book by adding a short story or some practical how-to steps.
If you want to increase your present book income or just get started now, read these ten secrets and apply them:
1. Secret One.
Write a short e-book first to test your market. I know short doesn’t mean the same thing to every person. For e-books, let’s agree 10-90 pages is short, even 5-27 sounds less intimidating. Your future customers are busy and usually download only the pages they want at the time.
Make your e-book simpler, shorter, and punchier than your print book. Shorten your sentences, stories and analogies. Your winner format will include a strong heading (question) your reader needs answered and the answer. This winner formula presents the problem and solution quickly without a lot of words.
2. Secret Two.
Focus on one topic in your book. It’s a known fact bestsellers focus on one main topic. Focus on one topic then write each chapter to support that subject. When you overload your reader with information, you come across as disorganized, wordy and flat. Instead of including everything you know, stick to one how-to subject and include plenty of simple details with examples to make it useful to your reader.
3. Secret Three.
Brand yourself, your business and your book. Think about the greatest benefit that you offer through your book or service. Consider your book and chapter titles. Now think about your keywords and headings on your website. Do you see a repeating word that stands out? For example, the book “Win With the Writer Inside You” the author threads some form of “win” throughout her materials. Ever heard of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series? The title changes in its audience but the Chicken Soup brand stays the same. For example, there’s a Chicken Soup for Teen-agers, Chicken Soup for Mothers, and so on.
4. Secret Four.
Get a professional editor and/or book coach. Yes, its o.k. and you should get feedback from family, friends, local writing group, etc. But you need to get a professional viewpoint of your work to weed out the passive voice, bad grammar and all the things that slow your readers down to a standstill. Copy that appeals to the emotions of your reader sell your books. Your future customers want word pictures that they can respond to with their emotions.
5. Secret Five.
Target and get to know your audience. Let’s face it not everyone will want to read your book. Most newbie authors think up what they feel is a great product; spend tons of time and sometimes money looking for people to buy it. Instead match your expert knowledge with an audience you can serve. Consider their needs, problems and how you can help solve them. Business people are a hot audience right now. They are hungry and willing to buy what will improve, make profitable their life and business. Right now think of one to three preferred audiences in your area of expertise. Then write the book your customers will be looking for.
6. Secret Six.
Automate your business. Don’t get frustrated if you are a non-techie, like me. You can do it. Take your time or at least decide to learn at your own pace. Years ago, the author knew very little about the internet now she owns many websites. She has published 5 inspirational e-books and several on internet marketing and e-book writing/publishing at the time of this writing.
Write your e-book quickly but offer a quality product. Aim to give your customer more than they have asked. Market your book on your site, on the site of others, everywhere basically. A good place to start is eBay or Booklocker. Don’t forget to offer your e-book for sale through an 800 number. Ureach is an excellent service 888-506-7790. Setup a download link for people to access your product. Consider Paypal, Clickbank and/or 2Checkout and/or your own merchant account for offline purchases to offer your customer choices. They will reward you by choosing one.
Whenever you are ready, think delegation, delegate some of your work to a computer assistant. For some perfectionist (not me) delegation may sound like a dirty word. Contact your local high schools and technical schools where bright techies live. The expense is low in comparison to the results you can gain.
7. Secret Seven.
Sizzle Your Title. Your title may well be 90% of the pulling power for your book. An excellent title is short. The top titles are benefit driven. Don’t forget to heat them up with emotion. Use terms your audience can relate to. Use action words and verbs. Quantify change with ways and time limits. Use one or two word ideas to tell a story. Pledge change. Spark interest. Instead of “How to Write an E-book” the author chose the title “Ten Secrets to Write Your E-book Like a Winner.” She quantified change, sparked interest and branded her title.
Have a meeting of the minds with friends or associates. Let them help you choose the best title from the list. Find out which will make them pull out $15-20 or more to buy your book.
8. Secret Eight.
Leverage Your Sales Potential. Think for a moment about the valuable knowledge that you have packed into your e-book at $20 a sale. Remember the principle “Divide and conquer” Web users love chunks of information. To leverage your sales conquer and divide your e-book into an e-course. With minor revisions, you can set your book up as a how-to course or mini-course. In the e-course format you can double your price and up. Don’t forget to bundle several lower cost e-books and offer a discount. At one of the author’s sites she sells 2 e-books for 20.00 separately, bundled she sells them for $30.00
9. Secret Nine.
Add bonus value to your e-book. When you add bonus value (2-4 how-to lists, articles, special reports, sample chapter or mini-course) at the end of your e-book document, you increase its value. Many (author included) will buy for the bonuses alone. Most people love bargains and valuable free stuff. Everyone is looking for original but useful information. Implement this secret of bonuses and watch your subscriber rate and sales go up.
10. Secret Ten.
Market before, while and after you write. Most writers want to avoid marketing. I overheard a writer saying, “I wrote the book. Why should I have to market it too?” Whine, whine?No really as you know marketing can be hard work. From my marketing friend Judy Cullins there are seven hot selling points that will make it much easier: Put marketing into each chapter title, each chapter’s questions you will answer, rough draft of e-book’s back cover (sales letter), the one-minute tell and sell, targeting your audience, thesis, and table of contents. You can implement these before you write a single chapter.
It’s faster to write an e-book if you know how. People surf the net daily looking for practical information and knowledge that you have. Don’t let your ideas, knowledge and expertise fade away. Put it to work for you in an e-book. Remember, if you need help contact a professional book coach or take an e-course to inform yourself.
©Earma Brown, 10 yr. Entrepreneur, Author, Speaker, Empowers entrepreneurs and writers to realize their book and web dreams
eBk: Win with the Writer Inside You
P.O. Box 111046, Carrollton, Texas 75011-1046
http://www.writetowin.org
earma@writetowin.org
877-846-9908
Free eZine: Web Wit – webwit@writetowin.org
Do Organizations Serve Us Or Do We Serve Organizations
We have seen an erosion in the confidence that society has in organizational leadership and its integrity recently with the numerous accounting scandals that have become public.Clearly this has led to the demise of several large organizations. In performance terms it is obvious that erosion of leadership integrity is not good for business.
The integrity that exists within an organization either lives or dies with the mission statement and underlying values around which an organization functions. Often the mission and values focus on such things as organizational performance, customer service, quality products, profit goals etc. These are then used as guiding posts and navigational aids to lead and inform leaders and employees at all levels within the organization.
Effectively, individuals then have to “integrate” themselves within the organizational directive in order to survive there. The organizational mission becomes an overarching theme in the lives of these individuals whether or not it is truly aligned with their own values and purpose in life. Of course most individuals are not in the habit of considering their values or purpose in life so they are only too happy to adopt someone else’s in order to stem the inner feelings of insecurity that arise from not having their own.
The organization then becomes a species in its own right and the individuals working within it have to alter their own values and purpose if they hope to remain a part of it. The problem arises however with the fact that organizational mission and values are often not aligned with basic human values. A clear example of this relates to the increasing number of hours that individuals find themselves working in a week and the increasing incidents of burnout related illness. Truly, I think anyone would say that this is not what he or she desires.
So the organization has become an entity that runs individuals lives rather than a means for individuals to achieve their purpose in life. They serve the organization not the other way around. But wait a minute here, isn’t an organization a “human” construct meant to further our goals, desires and purpose in alignment with our basic human values? After all don’t we want to do something in life that gives us joy, happiness, peace of mind, that helps us expand our creative potential in meaningful ways, that furthers the quality of our lives and the lives of others on this planet and that protects our environment? Have we therefore given up our power to an entity that doesn’t represent us? Is it possible to restore our rightful place in this equation and return the organization back into an instrument (or perhaps more accurately a process) that serves human values and humanity in general?
If we come back to the issue of integrity it becomes clear that the integrity, that is the “survival”, of the organization has become the imperative, not the integrity, that is the “wholeness”, of the individual. Notice that I have used the concept of integrity in two different senses here. The individual loses her/his sense of wholeness by repressing his/her basic human core values, effectively “cutting off” important parts of themselves. This repression often occurs out of fear of not surviving and effectively is an unconscious way of “lying” to oneself about what is truly important to that individual. The behavior of lying to oneself is about being “dishonest” with ones’ self or losing one’s integrity or wholeness.
At this point one might ask, is trying to survive not a basic human value? Well I might say that if given a choice an individual would rather “live” than just try to “survive”. Yet because the fear is so powerful most of us have even lost a sense of what it means to live. The idea of survival has a negative feeling attached to it for most people. It’s a feeling of just getting by and for no other purpose. It begins to feel like a meaningless exercise. Living however feels more positively motivating and full of potential. It in fact encompasses most of the human values for joy, peace of mind, creativity, etc. that I mentioned earlier.
Now if you follow me so far I think you are beginning to see that the problem of integrity has something to do with how we as individuals have been conditioned to react out of fear throughout our lives. It is clear that there is a lot to be afraid of as we are growing up in an uncertain world. It is this accumulated fear that we carry around that ultimately undermines our integrity (sense of wholeness and sense of personal honesty) in the long run.
Coaching for Organizational Integrity is about restoring our sense of wholeness and sense of personal honesty. This will allow us then to have the awareness of what we truly desire for ourselves and possibly enhance our courage to pursue it. Its premise rests on the observation that our conditioned responses to life long trauma become associated with limiting negative beliefs about others our environment and ourselves. Below is a short example of an exercise that I have used with individuals in my coaching practice to help them go beyond internal limitations to a place of greater awareness and self determination
Example:
A sales executive selling water treatment equipment is under pressure to meet his sales quota for this month. The economy is in a slump and he knows he will be unduly pressured to explain why his performance is slipping. He generally likes his job and has felt that his mission in life has been to help improve the environment and offer customers a product that they will truly get health benefits from. But under recent pressure he has started to doubt his sales abilities and this has inhibited him from being his normal ebullient self. He has started to have fears of failing and worries that he might get fired if he doesn’t meet his monthly quota.
Analysis of Situation:
There are a number of beliefs that this individual is unconsciously entertaining that need to be addressed:
1. His doubts about himself suggest that deep down he “doesn’t believe that he is capable of succeeding”. This is evident because if he knew with certainty that he could succeed doubt about this would never arise.
2. His fears of failing suggest that he ” believes he could fail”. This is evident because if he knew with certainty that he would never fail this thought would never arise.
3. The worry suggests he “believes the quality of his life would be made worse with failure to meet his quota”.
Now from the standpoint of integrity the highlighted beliefs clearly are not doing him any good. They are causing him to turn against himself; they create anxiety, confusion, inhibition, and ultimately reduced performance. We therefore have an individual who is “disintegrating” not one who is “integrated” or “whole”. So why would anyone accept these negative statements to be true?
Well over our lives we unconsciously learn to accept such negative beliefs about ourselves based on the failed experiences we have had. Rationalizations form around these negative beliefs and anchor them in our minds, whether we want them there or not. Let me illustrate:
1. The negative belief ” I don’t believe I can succeed” is held in our unconscious by the rationalization: ” Well if I believe this then I will work harder and I will succeed”.
In other words we unconsciously come to believe that this negative belief actually “helps us to succeed”.
2. However when we look at the evidence the belief ” I don’t believe I can succeed” actually ushers in self-doubt, anxiety, fear, confusion, inhibition all of which ultimately lead to reduced performance and potential failure. There is no success in this picture.
3.The rationalization “Well if I believe this then I will work harder and I will succeed” is actually a “lie” we choose to accept as truth. By doing so it anchors the negative belief in our minds and makes us susceptible to its ravages.
It is possible to make individuals aware of their negative beliefs and the rationalizations that anchor them. Additionally through a simple exercise, known as the Mind Resonance Process?, it is possible to permanently release this kind of unconscious material. This allows individuals to live with a greater sense of freedom in alignment with their own true values and desires. This freedom leads to enhanced motivation, joy, creativity and performance. The result is a more ” integrated”, “whole” individual. Such an individual is living, and working, from a place of power, creativity, joy, passion, etc. Clearly this is the kind of person any organization would value.
Some of the benefits to the organization are increased performance, increased productivity, and a greater creative resource in employees fostering continued innovation. As employees become integrated in this way they will more effectively help shape the organizational process in ways that will make it serve the real needs of others in its environment.
Copyright© 2005, Arrizza Performance Coaching Inc., All Rights Reserved
Nick Arrizza MD, Presidient & Founder of Arrizza Performance Coaching Inc.,is an Organizational Psychiatrist, Executive, Life & Leadership Coach, Stress & Performance Researcher, Speaker and Workshop Leader. He has developed powerful tools known as the Mind Resonance Process? which he uses in his practice to enhance individual and organizational performance. He can be contacted through his Web Site at: http://www.telecoaching4u.com
How To Write A Eulogy
Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing for everyone concerned, for a eulogy is a deeply personal way of saying goodbye. The key word is life, and you’ve been given the opportunity to celebrate a loved one’s life in the individual way that made your friend unique. Don’t be daunted by the task, just take these simple steps for a sincere and moving last farewell.
To prepare a eulogy, you will need to be well prepared. The eulogy should convey your feelings and your experiences and should be written in an informal, conversational tone. It’s not for summarising the person’s life and it doesn’t have to speak for all present. Just sit down and write from your heart. So, where do you start?
1. Get your material
First, collect some biographical facts : age, working life, marriage dates, places lived, children, and so on. Ask the family, they will welcome the chance to talk about their loved one. Then collect personal facts : special skills and accomplishments, characteristics, hobbies, etc. Now think about the stories you remember, or the turn of phrase or typical behavior that captures a person’s character so well.
Here are some questions to get you thinking:
- How did you and the deceased become close? When did you meet?
Some of the simplest thoughts are deeply touching. For example, “I’ll miss his crooked grin ” “I’ll always remember her bubbling laugh”. These warm touches will bring loving memories to those who are listening. Some of the best memorial services are filled with fond remembrances and laughter. Poetry is inspirational, and also of great assistance in writing a eulogy.
2. Organise your material
Write your notes in point form on sheets of paper or on 3×5 file cards – one idea to a card. Now group the cards into piles of similar topics. Then sort each pile of cards into a logical order. Write your first draft. Use linking sentences to make each topic flow easily into the next. Pay most attention to your beginning and ending. As you write, edit and polish, keep the words “celebration” and “thanksgiving” in your mind.
3. Practice!
If you’re not used to speaking in public, start practicing. Run an Internet search on ’speaking tips’ or borrow a book on speaking from the library. Read your speech into a tape and then play it back. You’ll be able to polish your eulogy and your delivery. Now stand in front of a mirror and practice some more. Even someone who has never spoken in public at all will do a good job with practice.
4. How do you keep calm?
It doesn’t sound easy, but you can do it. If you’re worried about choking up or breaking down in the middle of your eulogy, you can take a moment to compose yourself, then carry on. This is perfectly acceptable. If you’re afraid you might break down while in the middle of the eulogy and find yourself unable to recover, ask someone ahead of time to be ready to take over at a signal from you. Give them a copy of your eulogy. Just knowing you have a backup speaker will probably be all you need to stay calm.
Above all, remember to breathe
You’ll only have to speak for five to ten minutes, but your gift will live on in the hearts of the deceased’s family and friends
Susanna Duffy is a Civil Celebrant, grief counsellor and mythologist. She creates ceremonies and Rites of Passage for individual and civic functions, and specialises in Croning and other celebrations for women. http://celebrant.yarralink.com
