Posts Tagged ‘goal-setting information’
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
The Hasidic master, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach taught that on Passover night we are bringing our entire life stories to the Seder table to be freed. What exactly does this mean? To begin with, we are by nature, storytellers. Whether we are aware of it or not, we live in a world of stories. Stories that we tell our family, friends, coworkers, and clients. Stories we share over the phone, e-mail, in our journals and the stories that are constantly playing themselves out in our heads. Stories about what’s happening to those we love, stories about those we despise, stories that inspire the spirit, and stories that instill fear.
The sum and total of our life is that, from our birth until our death, we are walking stories, here upon the earth. Yet on Passover, it’s the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves that needs to be looked at and freed. The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves have great power over us. Depending on how they are told, our life stories can either enlighten or mislead, inspire or discourage.
A good exercise for this Passover is to become more aware of the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and our past. What are the underlying themes of our stories?
Victory? Betrayal? Struggle? Victimization? Each of us has had key events in our pasts, whether it be from our childhood, or more recent episodes of hurt and loss, where a part of us draws a reactionary conclusion about our life stories — even when the conclusions are terribly incorrect. Many perpetuate these stories and our immature understandings of them often make a further mess of our lives in the process – unless a reminder comes to wake us up and reorient our perspective. Our Hebrew Sages teach that Passover is such a reminder.
Passover is a reminder that we need not live in our Egypts forever. There is a G-d, a Higher Power, that has an invested interest in our Liberation. Our job comes in our willingness to understand, heal and ultimately elevate the stories we hold onto that are no longer working for us. After all, it does clearly state in the Haggadah, “In every generation a person is obligated to see themselves, as if they themselves left Egypt”. What are we doing to leave THIS year?
We can simply begin by looking at our life stories and revising parts of the script. Remember, it’s not what happened to us that’s important but what we make of those events.
The following suggestions are designed to help us tell our stories well this year:
Become a Sympathetic Narrator
When telling your story about yourself, to yourself, become a sympathetic narrator.
In literature, a sympathetic narrator is one who takes the side of the story’s protagonist or main character. For example, when the Torah introduces the life of King David, it includes his shortcomings, yet does not let it take away from his greatness. Similarly, we need to admit mistakes yet not obsess over them. A sympathetic narrator casts daily failures as learning experiences, painful yet helpful steps on the way to success.
Choose What You Want to Emphasize
Any honest reporter will tell you that all stories have a slant. It’s not that reporters try to mislead, it’s just that in choosing what to cover, some things are always left out or minimized in order to create a perspective. And that’s OK. Likewise, in our own stories of loss or pain, deciding what to highlight can bring about the difference between lingering bitterness and a sense of closure.
Seek the Higher Purpose
There is a core spiritual principle that our lives are divinely designed for each one of us to get exactly what we need to support our own soul’s unique evolutionary process. As the Baal Shem Tov taught, “You are exactly where you need to be”, which implies that we should not get too caught up in our internal struggles against what is, or what was, which will only lead to more pain and suffering. According to this spiritual belief, nothing in our world occurs by accident and there are no coincidences, only synchronicity. When reframing our life stories, attempt to see the “Hand of G-d” or the pattern of events that have led us to this moment. These patterns of connectedness or synchronicity are the magical language of the Divine in our lives. When rewriting our stories, seek to see beyond the circumstances and instead at the Divine Order of the unique paths that have chosen us.
As for the Life Story that still plays itself out today:
Work on the 20 Percent
While it is not commonly known, according to the Midrash, when Moses left Egypt, only 20 percent of the nation of Israel left with him. The other 80 percent remained behind, and did not succeed in taking the risk of leaving an imprisonment that was all too familiar to them. An interesting correlation is found in the meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and other recovery groups where the statistic is the same. It is known that only 20 percent of those in recovery will remain sober, the other 80 percent will inevitably relapse into old behavior as statistics have shown, because the life of addiction, no matter how painful and dark, is at least familiar.
Consequently, when we say we want to change our life stories, the important thing to remember is not whether we feel 100 percent confident and ready. The more realistic question to ask ourselves today is whether we still have a least 20 percent of ourselves that is strong enough to take the steps, and if we can agree to work on that 20 percent that is committed and willing. Passover asks us to at least look for that part, to find that part, and to work on that part, for it is there that we might find the secret of finding the life we want and deserve to live.
May this Passover be for all of us, the benchmark in time when we begin retelling our stories, but perhaps this time, in a slightly different way. May G-d release us this Passover from our pasts that we may be delivered to our future.
New Beginnings,
Rabbi Michael Ozair
Practical Exercise:
Write out three stories from any period of your life (no more than a page each) of something you did well, some problem you solved, and tell (yourself) how you did it.
About The Author
Rabbi Michael Ezra is a spiritual life coach, counselor and consultant. He can be reached at coach@kabbalahcoach.com or by visiting his site at www.Kabbalahcoach.com.
The Great American Dream Challenge: Faith Restored
Years ago, people came to America in pursuit of their dreams and still do to seek a better life. Work hard, stay focused and you can achieve the American Dream. But our nation, in fact our world, changed on September 11, 2001. Our hearts and spirits were broken, fear and cynicism crept into our collective consciousness, and many are still in need of restoration.
To prove that we are still a country that dreams, I launched the Great American Dream Challenge. Nationwide, people are pledging to use the next twelve months to embark upon new dreams, demonstrate our belief in these dreams and to actually attaining them. What is unique and exciting is that we have forged a community with a common bond dedicated to helping each other realize these dreams. It’s called My Dream Circle.
Here’s How It Works
? Identify a dream that you are passionate or excited about. Find something that matters to you.
? Put it in writing, tell another person, or post it on my website.
? Join a community like MyDreamCircle.com that is committed to helping you overcome obstacles and achieve results.
? Learn to make specific requests and share your resources.
? Create a system for support and accountability.
? Take serious action.
Even if you tend to be overly realistic, you still have dreams or things that you want for yourself and others. During tough times or those days when there is no evidence that your dream is possible, much less a good idea, it’s essential to have a place to turn. In our community, help is available 24/7 via our website, phone calls with me, other experts and coaches. Members have a cadre of specialists on hand to provide the gentle or tough nudge needed.
Throughout the entire year, we will keep abreast of stories, obstacles and wins, but then we’ll gather to commemorate something more substantial than just our personal accomplishments. We will have raised the proverbial bar because when we see that our dreams can come true, we are willing to dream bigger dreams.
The Reality
Many of us think, “I’ll believe in my dream when I see that it’s a sure thing or at least when there’s proof that it’s likely to happen.” But the secret to living a “dream come true” life is to believe in your dream simply because it matters to you. In other words, looking for certainty “out in the world,” is not the place to begin. The place to look is in your own heart. Choose to believe in your dream. Then, take action to demonstrate (to yourself and others) that you really do believe.
The reality is we all have good days and bad. Personally, there are days that I forget to trust, days that I get distracted and forget my dreams, and days when the doubters and dream killers (internally or externally) become so overwhelming I want to give up. That’s when I turn to My Dream Circle, to others who help me remember and reclaim my belief in myself and in my dreams. This community has assisted me through hard times and I continue to do the same for them daily.
Now, with members from all over the world, My Dream Circle provides support through ongoing encouragement, coaching, inspiration and most importantly, accountability for taking risks. There is even a Dream Fund available. We are finding new dreams, partners, investors, volunteers, answers, creative ideas, mentors, friends, and fellow dreamers. But beyond networking, educating, challenging and celebrating, we are a community with a shared commitment that is profoundly impacting lives.
Your Invitation
If we bring our intentions, offer support and resources to aid each other, what could happen? Just reading this might activate a healthy cynic, but during a time when many have lost hope, are afraid of dreaming or taking risks, this is the essential time for us to be bold. What would you do if you believed in yourself? What might you change if you believed in your dreams? And how would you alter your life if you knew people would stand by and help you to achieve your heart’s desire?
Find out by going to www.dreamcoach.com where you can get what you need to achieve any dream. You don’t have to go it alone. Even if you are in need of a new dream, we’re here to offer a hand. Our goal is that everyone who participates in the Great American Dream Challenge will be successful in reaching their dreams.
It’s unheard of and outrageous! Yes, it’s a dream. We intend to prove that as a nation we still have faith and dreams. And we demonstrate that our dreams are important by pursuing them. The conversation about dreams will change from one of fear, uncertainly and doubt to one of hope and possibility as we dream out loud for all to hear.
Marcia Wieder is a best-selling author and speaker who is known as America’s Dream Coach®. She’s known for giving inspiring and moving talks to AT&T, The Gap and American Express. She appeared several times on Oprah and The Today Show. She’s also a syndicated columnist for The San Francisco Chronicle.
For more information, to receive a free audio e-book, “Jump Start Your Dream”, or to join her community of Dreamers, visit http://www.dreamcoach.com.
Come Experience a Powerful Weekend Designed to Help You Exceed Your Expectations & Achieve Your Dreams, visit http://www.dreamcoach.com/dream_weekend.htm to register for the event.
The Influence of People Who Surround You
It is known that the human body sends out vibrations: some are positive, while others are negative. We have orbits formed by people who surround us and with whom we associate closely throughout our entire lives. In my book “The Art & Craft of Success: 10 Steps” by Ostaro, I expand fully on the impact people have upon us.
Through observation and experience we will notice that the association of a certain person or persons will help us finish a project successfully. It is not just a matter of know-how or funding what makes a venture a success. It is more than that. When a person constantly exercises a positive (harmonious) influence upon another human being, it has a great influence on the brain that gives rise to a clearer judgment of a situation or a better solution to a lingering problem. These processes go on quite unnoticed by people ? but they do work. In case of a negative person in our orbit, the result of a contradictory or negative vibration could lead to a bad judgment of a situation or problem, poor solutions and utter failure of the project.
The underestimation of all difficulties or challenges involved could mean higher costs and longer time periods to get the job done.
The success in a project is largely dependent upon correct estimation of all factors involved like choosing the right people in a team, carefully considering essential character traits of the human personality (dependability, punctuality, efficiency, capacity for hard work, persistence when faced with difficulties) in order that a venture be completed successfully and yield the desired results.
Cost estimation in terms of human involvement requires a profound knowledge of human nature and business experience. We don’t achieve success by chance. It requires very solid efforts on the physical plane like burning the midnight oil plus utilizing the formula consisting of three major factors, such as choosing the right team for that particular project, the appropriate location (for example: drilling for oil must be at a calculated spot), and proper timing for completion. A multi million dollar movie, if released at a wrong time without regard to competition, could lose you millions and may never get you an Oscar. There are many examples of successful or failed projects. A careful analysis of a successful project reveals the points mentioned above. In fact, timing is more important than proper funding, as evidenced by Michael Moore’s documentary Fahrenheit 9/11 which became a worldwide hit. At a time, when competition is less, the chances of success increase tremendously.
The stakes in a large venture are very high. Choosing the right people, right time to start the project and right location can make the difference between success or failure.
Ostaro is a veteran media personality and has appeared hundreds of times on television, radio and in print media. A film maker, he frequently appears on radio nationally. He is the host/producer of the Ostaro Show (Time Warner and RCN Cable TV every other Fri and Sun in NYC) featuring the best in celebrity horoscopes. Listed in Who’s Who in America, he is a positive thinker and the author of the “Art & Craft of Success: 10 Steps” published by Svarg Syndicate Inc, NYC. Mr. Ostaro is a Premier Hindu Astrologer of New York City, and is a Kentucky Colonel. http://www.ostaro.com; ostaro@ostaro.com.
Five Steps to Goal-Setting
What would you like to achieve in your lifetime?
Author Basil S. Walth once said, “If you don’t know where you are going, how can you expect to get there?” These are words well spoken, because whether you’re working toward freelancing full-time or selling your novels, you need a roadmap.
Goals are indispensable. They provide direction, long-term vision and short-term motivation. They separate the important from the irrelevant. Goals also build self-confidence by helping you grow as an individual.
Olympic athletes, successful business people, and (hint?) bestselling writers are goal setters. You aspire to greatness too, don’t you? If you do, and you’re not already setting goals, now is the perfect time to start.
Five Things to Remember When Setting Goals:
1. Write Goals Down
Always jot down your goals-this is powerful. The process of physically seeing your goals helps crystallize them in your mind. This process also better enables you to commit to them.
Interesting Fact: A popular Harvard Business School study once found that only 3% of the population records their goals in writing. Another 14% have goals but don’t write them down, whereas 83% do not even have clearly defined goals. More interesting is that this 3% earned an astounding ten times that of the 83% group!
2. Make Goals Short, Attainable, & Measurable
Set attainable short-term goals that can be measured. This means setting quantifiable goals.
Here are some examples:
- Commit to writing a certain number of words each week
- Submit at least two articles a week
- Find two new markets each week
- Take at least one writing course a year
- Attend at least one writer’s conference a year
Make your goals attainable so you won’t get discouraged. The short-term goals above are attainable for me, but they may not be for you. Or maybe for you, my short-term goals aren’t challenging enough.
Goals are very individual. You have to set your own goals?remember, you’re charting your own course to success!
On the other hand, don’t set wimpy goals simply because you’re afraid to fail. Talane Miedaner, author of Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books, 2002) notes: “People sometimes give themselves ‘weeny’ goals-they play it safe so they don’t fail?But the bigger the goal, the more likely you are to achieve it.”
3. Create Deadlines
Without deadlines, your goals are merely dreams. Set deadlines for both short- and long-term goals, and I promise, you’ll get there sooner!
Remember that deadlines can be flexible. Life changes and so do goals. Never be afraid to adjust the timeframe for a goal. What’s important is to keep moving forward.
4. Look at your goals everyday!
Visual aids are an effective way to program your brain.
Reading and re-writing goals are two very effective visual aids. By physically rewriting your goals and pasting them in places you regularly frequent, you make them more real in your mind.
I read an article in this month’s Shape magazine that inspired me. The author mentioned that before Sarah Ban Breathnach, author of the bestselling book & Oprah Pick Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy (Warner Books, 1995) became a bestselling author, she pasted her name on the #1 spot of the New York Times bestseller list and posted it on her computer. Visual Aids like these give you that extra ammunition that will make a difference.
5. Make Goal Setting a Routine
Begin every morning with a “To Do” list. This will help you organize and better manage your time. Plus, your goals will be right smack under your nose every day. Do not get discouraged over any unfinished items. Simply transfer them to the next morning’s list.
The above said, keep your goals front and forward in your mind. Remember…you only get one chance to live your dreams!
In the words of Cecil B. De Mille: “The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.”
About The Author
Jennifer Minar is a freelance writer in the health & fitness and writing markets. She is also the founder & managing editor of Writer’s Break (http://www.writersbreak.com), a web site and ezine for fiction and creative non-fiction writers.
