Posts Tagged ‘faith’
Loving Every Phenomenal Part of You
Have you ever wished yourself away? I am not referring to leaving your precious life on this Earth; but rather, just wished you weren’t a certain way or did not have some particular qualities and mannerisms that were so apparent to you. I know I have.
In the past, I’ve had a very difficult time when others would point out my weaknesses to me, either constructively or not-so tactfully. I would think, ” Wow, not only do I think these are big problems I have, but now everyone else sees them as well.” I would hope and pray that these parts of my personality would disappear into the deep character trait abyss. I would pretend to myself they weren’t present or I would try my hardest to cover them up. I spent a lot of time and energy on hiding these areas that I wanted so desperately to vanish.
A big first step in learning to love oneself and in self-forgiveness is accepting every part of you as the unique person that you are. All of your so-labeled liabilities can be tweaked into assets, but they must first be accepted. Otherwise, you are pushing against the grain and not being authentic to your true self.
Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. In all of my past serious relationships, I have loved very passionately- so much so, that I’ve depended on the other person in the relationship for my happiness (what is commonly referred to as co-dependence). My moods depended on their moods, their well-being, or were correlated to the way they were treating me at the time. One can argue that this is not really love. I feel it was love, but with a very important component missing-that passionate love for myself? With it, the “dysfunctional” one-sided relationships may have flourished or an even more likely scenario~ I would have probably not attracted them in the first place (but that’s a topic for another day). Once I accepted this as a part of my unique persona I was able to direct it in a more healthy manner-passionate love for my child, my work, my family, my faith, and most importantly, myself.
You may find your dark sides in anger, co-dependence, low self-esteem or a combination of these or other perhaps not so desirable traits. We are missing a part of us by wishing these traits weren’t ours and not owning up to every inch of them. If we are only loving a part of ourselves or of others, we are not fully engaged in the experience of love. You know that feeling of being in a relationship where the other person may “kind of like you” or you “kind of like them”. It doesn’t flourish, and neither party is truly happy. It has been said by finding an area in which you have found the most struggles, therein lies your true purpose. These are gifts for us to embrace; lessons are presented for us to learn. Think of one of your greatest challenges-has that not shaped who you are today? When you are in the midst of it, it can be difficult; but when you step back, you see the beauty of it all.
Accept your yin and your yang. Accept your dark and your light. Accept your failures and your successes. I am not suggesting that we use this as an excuse to not participate in personal development or self-care, or to neglect to learn those lessons that are often presented to us throughout our lives. Instead I am suggesting that we embrace our unique selves and know that we are not on this Earth to take up space but rather to fulfill a beautiful life of our dreams in our own special way~ every valuable bit of us.
“If you can’t accept yourself, then certainly no one else will.” ~Author Unknown
Copyright 2005~Deborah Shipley is a registered yoga teacher, publisher of a free monthly e-zine on self-esteem, and an e-book author. This article may be distributed provided the author’s information is included in its entirety. http://www.tipsforinterpersonalskills.com
The Six Figure Job Search
Before we start discussing how to search for a six figure salary job, let’s set a goal. The goal I suggest is to double your income every five years. That may sound like a stretch. Well it is? but it is a doable stretch goal.
I set this goal for myself twenty years ago when I graduated from a small public college. I grew up an average kid from Philadelphia. I had average grades in high school and college. And I never went to graduate school. At the time I graduated from college I had never been west of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Twenty years later I can tell you that I have lived and worked on three different continents and I’m vice president of a large publicly traded company.
What made the difference for me were two things.
First and foremost was my college sweetheart. She always felt that I could do and be whatever I wanted. Her faith was a driving force that ignited my ambition.
Second was the director of the placement office at my college. He spoke to the senior class about the job market in 1983? which was bad. He spent three-quarters of his presentation telling us what we couldn’t do and what we shouldn’t expect. While I recognize that he was trying to manage our expectations so that we wouldn’t become frustrated or disappointed in our job search his negativity frankly pissed me off.
One of the things that he told us was that we should just forget about applying to Armstrong World Industries. Armstrong was headquartered in the same town as my college. The director told us that since the job market was tight Armstrong was going “up market” to the bigger name schools, so we should just forget about wasting our time chasing Armstrong.
Right then and there I made up my mind that no one was going to tell me what I can’t do when it came to achieving success. Since Armstrong was not interviewing on campus, I had to figure out how to land an interview with their college recruiter.
I targeted a job with them in their sales organization. I thought it would impress them if I made a cold call on the college recruiter. So I planned my approach. I would go over at lunch time when the main receptionist wouldn’t be on duty. I figured the person that covers during lunch wouldn’t take their gate keeping duty as seriously. I thought if I could just get into the Human Resources Department, I could probably wait for the college recruiter to get back from lunch.
My planning worked better than expected because the college recruiter was having lunch at his desk and he was happy to sit with a college student who had cold called on him.
I had my two minute pitch ready and my questions to gather more information as to their needs all polished up and ready to go. I was very relaxed since I figured I had nothing to lose, which is true in any job interview. If the interview you are on doesn’t work out, learn from it and then just move on.
After spending an hour with the college recruiter I was offered to join Armstrong’ training program. The first thing I did when I got back on campus was to see the director of the placement office. I told him how I got into my beat up 1977 Datsun B-210 wearing my brand new navy blue polyester suit that I bought at Sears the night before and drove over to Armstrong’s and landed a job offer to join their college training program. You could have knocked him over with a feather. Then I told him that I would double my salary every five years?
I learned three things from this experience:
First, don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do.
Second, anyone who learns how to successfully conduct a management level job search can significantly advance their career.
Third, anyone who is willing to learn, stretch themselves and isn’t a quitter can achieve their goals.
I applied these three lessons twenty years ago and I haven’t looked back? including doubling my income every five years. The best decision I made was to marry my college sweetheart who first lit that spark of ambition in me. We have been happily married, with three great daughters, ever since.
Since I always felt like I was the original “Average Joe” who found out how to break through the ceiling of mediocrity, I wanted to share what I learned. What led me to wanting to share the lessons for finding a six figure salary position were two things.
First, I landed as a senior executive at three different large publicly traded companies before I was forty. And second, I saw on the news that the number one New Years Resolution is to get a new job or to advance your career.
So I began work on The Six Figure Job Search CD which was launched in July 2003 on www.sixfigurejobsearch.com. This CD leads the executive job searcher through the entire process from planning their campaign to negotiating the offer. And I share the overview of the techniques here.
For a six figure salary search you have to understand that it is a numbers game. You are now approaching the narrower points in the pyramid and the demand for six figure jobs always outstrips the supply. Your resume has to hit at exactly the moment that a company or a recruiter needs a person with your particular skill and experience. So you can see that you will get very few hits? and that is why we need to get you up to bat as often as possible.
A mistake I’ve seen executives make is that they believe the process will be easier than it really is. They believe that once they get their name out there and they send their resume to 50 or 100 companies, then the world will beat a path to their door. Understand right up front that this process is going to be tough and time consuming. That is why knowledge of how to manage the process and how to diligently prepare are going to be the major keys to success.
The further up the ladder you climb, the more items other than just your functional skills will come into play as part of the hiring process. The hiring company will screen your functional skills, but that is just the minimum ante.
The first thing the hiring executive will want to assess is what kind of person you are. Are you the kind of person they want to work with? If the hiring executive doesn’t have a good feel for you personally, then it will be difficult to win them over. This may seem unfair, but it is human nature.
Next, the hiring executive will be looking at your functional skills. Suffice it to say that you will have to be able to point to specific successes and experience that will demonstrate that you do have the functional skills for the position.
At this point, the hiring executive will likely be seeing if you will fit with the company’s culture and environment. You too need to learn as much as you can about the company’s culture. No sense in going to work somewhere you won’t feel is a good fit.
Another thing that they will be evaluating is whether or not you will be a risky hire. A bad hiring decision costs significant time and money for both the candidate and the company. If this job will be a big step for you, that is an added element of risk. Also, if this job is in a new industry to you, that too is a risk. These types of objections, the prepared searcher can deal with.
The bottom line question in the mind of the hiring executive is this, “Will you bring value to the company that far exceeds the compensation they will pay you?” That is the magic formula that you will need to focus the whole process on.
Many executives have contacted me seeking employment and have started by telling me what they thought they deserved and were worth? You know what? I couldn’t care less. If they wouldn’t sell me on the value they can deliver first, then why should I be interested in what they want?
Let me tell you from experience on both sides of the desk, if the hiring executive is convinced of the value that you can deliver, you will likely get an offer that is higher than what you felt you “deserved”. But you have to unequivocally demonstrate tangible value that you can deliver.
Most people do have great value that they can offer, however they are poor at communicating what that value is. Therefore, often it is not the person with the most innate talent that gets hired; it is the person who can best articulate, in a winning way, what their talent is that gets them the job offer.
Some common mistakes many searchers make are lack of preparation and a lack of understanding of the ins and outs of the search process. There are also two traps that you should be aware of.
The first trap is the misconception that the outplacement consultant is responsible for getting you a job. The second trap is the misconception that the job broker or resume distribution firm you hired will find you a job.
These things could happen, but DON’T COUNT ON IT!!!
It is much more likely that you will have wasted time and money by not taking full responsibility for your search.
If you have been put out of your job and your company provided outplacement service, push them hard because they’re getting paid whether you find a job or not. Even better, try negotiating an arrangement with your former employer in which they would give you an amount in cash equal to what they would pay the outplacement service. You are much more likely to focus the money in ways that address your needs.
I am not a big fan of outplacement services. I compare executives going through outplacement to the walking dead. Outplacement is reminiscent of poorly conceived government entitlement programs that drain any motivation from people who are forced to rely on them.
This really isn’t surprising, given that most of the executives you will mix with in outplacement have been pushed out of their jobs. They tend to be bitter, and also feel that they are owed a new job by the outplacement firm. The smartest thing you can do is to get over it as quickly as you can. Instead of becoming bitter, look forward and focus on what is important to you and your family. Bad things happen to good people and good companies, but how you react to the situation is 100% within your control. Being a savvy and knowledgeable job seeker can help you preserve your health and sanity while opening up better opportunities for you.
Regarding Job Brokers; happiness isn’t the only thing that money can’t buy; it can’t buy you a job, either. I also recommend avoiding resume-distribution firms with wild claims of success. You can learn to do the same things yourself with a little time and effort, while saving yourself a great deal of money.
Here’s the number one six figure level job search tip, don’t go it alone. Advancing your career and fulfilling your aspirations are too important to take chances with? or for that matter to leave to chance. Underselling yourself or not properly selling yourself will cost you in not reaching your potential. It will also cost you tens of thousands of dollars in annual compensation and over the course of 10, 15 or 20 years that adds up to hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Seek out a reputable career coach or mentor that has demonstrated experience in the area of six figure salary executives and job searches.
Rob Waite is a senior executive with over 20 years of leadership experience in domestic and international business. His successful track record includes start-ups, turnarounds, multinational strategic partnerships and global business expansions with Fortune 500 companies. Rob is also a successful author, dynamic speaker and a business strategist. His most recent book is The Lost Art of General Management, was dubbed “a must read for anyone who wants to be unstoppable in business” by one well-known CEO. Rob also developed and produced a one-of-kind interactive virtual seminar The Six Figure Job Search that guides executive level job seekers through the entire job search process. Also, joining such luminaries as Bill Gates, Donald Trump and Suze Orman, Rob is a contributing author to the Walking With the Wise series from Mentors magazine. Rob has been a senior executive with both Fortune 500 and Global 500 companies. You can learn more about Rob, his books and programs at http://www.robwaite.com and at http://www.sixfigurejobsearch.com
Why Does God Allow Suffering?
Justin was a typical ten year old boy. He liked Leggos, trains, and watching TV. He had red hair, freckles, and a huge smile. Justin was a great kid and everybody loved him. Because of cancer, he didn’t live to see his eleventh birthday. His mom Mary, who had watched him suffer for months, held her son in her arms when he died. Every day, for the last two years, she has lived with the grief of her loss and the memories of Justin’s suffering.
This issue of suffering is the most common argument against religion. People often ask, “If there is a loving God, why does He make people suffer?”
I firmly believe that God does not cause sickness or pain. He doesn’t make people hurt, and He doesn’t want them to suffer. The life of Jesus proved this. He cured people; He did not make them sick. Why, then, are so many in pain?
There is no easy answer. To try and understand, I step back and look at the big picture. God made everything perfect. Then man sinned and that perfection was spoiled. Now we live in a world where evil abounds. We are subject to the evil actions of sinful people and to the natural consequences of those actions. This is not at all what God intended for the world He created.
God can and does intervene in some events, but why not others? Only He knows that answer, but the Bible teaches that there will be a time when He will put an end to ALL death, sadness, pain, sickness, and suffering.
Below are some possible reasons that people suffer.
1) We do things ourselves that cause us pain. We don’t eat right, so we have heart attacks. We drive fast, so we have accidents. We smoke, so we get cancer. We start wars, we break laws, we don’t show love to our fellow man. Much of the sorrow in this world, we bring upon ourselves by our own actions.
2) But what about innocent children who are not responsible for their suffering? Why do they get sick? This is a tough question. What I know for sure is that when God created this world, He intended for us to have strong, healthy bodies and freedom from pain and suffering. When evil entered the picture, it brought with it suffering. That is not to say people suffer because of their own personal sins, necessarily, but the world is changed, due to sin being part of the world. Jesus said, “In this world, you will have tribulation.”
Just as in the case with Job, I believe that evil forces attack us and cause much suffering in an attempt to get people to blame God and turn away from Him. (Job 2:3-9)
3) God gives us rights as individuals. Because He allows us to choose for ourselves how we’ll live, He had to also allow us the freedom to sin. This means He had to allow the consequences of our behaviors, too. Some of those consequences are diseases caused by toxins, accidents caused by risky behaviors, and natural disasters caused by things like changes in the ozone layer, which we have brought about.
4) Though some people think God punishes us by making us suffer, Jesus said that a blind man He healed was born blind, not because of his sin or his parents’ sin, but “that the works of God should be revealed in him.” (John 9:3) God didn’t cause the blindness, but He used it to show His power to all who saw Jesus heal the man.
5) Another possible reason God allows suffering is so that our faith in Him will grow, our compassion for others will increase, and we’ll be better able to encourage other hurting people (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
6) Romans 1:22 says that God gives rebellious people over to their own foolishness. He lets us go, hoping that we will return to Him after we hit bottom and see the error of our ways. Giving His permission is not the same as causing the problem. God doesn’t cause people to stubbornly refuse to follow His way. He doesn’t want us to go ever deeper into degradation, but He does permit us to have our way when we are determined to choose our own path.
BUT WE ARE NOT WITHOUT HOPE:
Though this world is no longer perfect, God will create a perfect world some day in heaven. He will get rid of everything that is not HIS. Suffering, sin, pain, tears and death are not HIS. “When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: ‘Death has been swallowed up in victory.’” (1 Corinthians 15:54)
We have HOPE that all suffering will be relieved when we go to spend eternity with God. But this promise of eternal bliss is only for those who know, serve, and love Him.
God doesn’t cause suffering; Satan does. When we get angry at God, it’s exactly what Satan wants. By blaming God for evil, we’re actually following the one who IS responsible.
“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” (1 Peter 5:8-11)
Our souls are of greater importance to God than our bodies are. Though He cares about our physical suffering, healing our soul is more urgent because it is the soul that lives forever. Our relationship with God is what determines where that soul spends eternity. If only those who suffer here on earth would seek God and the true healing (of the soul) that He offers!
In this world, bad things happen to good people. Those who have a personal relationship with God are better able to cope. We can live without fear, even though we do not know what the future holds, if we know the one who holds the future in His hands. When we discover the great love God has for us, we can let go of fear.
Psalm 27:1 says “The Lord is my salvation. Whom shall I fear?” Jesus triumphed over death, and He alone can save us from eternal death. He can also see us through all the trials of life and bring us safely to heaven.
I don’t have all the answers. I just hope that, in sharing what I’ve learned through my own experience, I’ve helped you to feel more at peace knowing God has ultimate control in every circumstance. He is GOOD, no matter what evil befalls us. We can trust in the one who is full of compassion and loves us more than we can imagine. Without that knowledge, I don’t know how anyone could cope with the trials of life.
No one can comfort the depths of our sorrows except God. I’m convinced that if you read His promises in the Bible, your heart will be encouraged.
Author Marsha Jordan is founder of a nonprofit charity called Hugs and Hope for Sick Children (http://www.hugsandhope.org). More of her articles on depression are in her book, Hugs, Hope, and Peanut Butter, a compilation of thought-provoking essays illustrated with drawings by critically ill children.
In this book, the author combines hope with humor, drawing upon her own experience of living with chronic pain and depression for thirty years. She opens her life and her heart to share everyday experiences and the lessons God has taught her from them.
A wonderful mix of the serious and the humorous, this book warms the heart and lifts the spirit. PROCEEDS BENEFIT SICK KIDS! This book was written to encourage anyone who faces disappointment — which is EVERYone! Some essays in the book include “What Did I Do To Deserve This?” “What Was God Thinking?” “More Than I Can Handle,” and “Ten Tips For Beating Depression” Order the book or learn more at http://www.hugsandhope.org/book.htm
Career Development – When Its Time for a Change
There’s a certain courage required to hear your gut. To really be true to how you are feeling. And that is never more important than in your career. Sometimes people feel that they are not completely happy. At other times they might have a sense of distance from the business or organisation they are in.
This lack of ‘alignment’ makes for discomfort – and many people listen to it for the whole of their careers (and lives) and yet never truly hear it.
So what are the clues that can help us realise that if change is in the air, it is a good thing, rather than something to fear? Here are 19 things to look out for:-
So what to do about it.
Firstly – recognising that your career is in a rut is a big step – so consider yourself lucky that you spotted it and took stock.
Secondly – realise that you do have choices. You always have choices – and only you can make them – no-one else.
Thirdly – think through what options you have in your existing job or role – all may not be lost, you might have options which suit who you really want to be, in exactly the organisation you are in – just get thinking and above all, get creative about it.
Fourthly – consider what you love doing in your life; read the job sections and seek out jobs that truly appeal, however unlikely they might seem for you. Ask yourself what captures your imagination about them – tease it out (use the ‘Why’s’ tactic in “Solve Problems Permanently – Ask WHY”)
Fifthly – consider how you can leverage your existing role to enable you to reach a longer-term goal of a sort of job you like – what is already there that you can utilise.
Finally – create an escape plan, with timescales to get to where you really do want to be – it may have a couple of steps – but that’s just great. It adds to the fun!
For a bit more help about changes of direction, try out What Color is Your Parachute?, especially the ’skills as verbs’ section (aka values!) – details on the webpage in the clickthrough at the bottom.
Martin Haworth is a Business and Management Coach. He works worldwide, mainly by phone, with small business owners, managers and corporate leaders. He has hundreds of hints, tips and ideas at his website, http://www.coaching-businesses-to-success.com/career_development.html.
…helping you, to help your people, to help your business grow…







