Posts Tagged ‘choices’
I?m Not Depressed; I?ve Just Been Having A Lousy Conversation With Myself
Not long ago, I attended a mastermind group. During the meeting, one of the women went into a litany about how terrible things had been in the past few weeks and how depressed she felt as a result. Inspired, I rose from my seat and told her, “You’re not depressed, you’ve just been having a lousy conversation with yourself.” She looked at me as if I had just arrived from Mars.
LIMITING WORDS CREATE A LIMITED LIFE
Most people have no idea that the words they use affect their feelings, experiences and behavior. The majority of people in our lives use very limiting language. If you were to listen to most of the people around you, you would be shocked to find out how negative their speech is. They complain, gossip, talk about how difficult things are now and how they probably won’t get much better. Then they wonder why their lives are not filled with joy and success. While it might seem like a good idea to regularly talk about things that bother you, you pay a huge price for doing so.
When you use negative words, whether knowingly or unknowingly, it impacts your feelings and behavior. When my friend talked about how depressed she felt, it actually contributed to her feeling sad and, as a result, she began to act as if she had no choices. Notice the sequence ? words create feelings and feelings impact behavior. It is almost impossible to act positively when you use negative words. (Note ? The phrase depressed as it is used above is NOT describing clinical depression. Prolonged feelings of sadness and hopelessness can be symptoms of a serious condition that needs the attention of a mental health professional.)
Your words impact your present experience and also your future. If you use limiting words, you will act in a corresponding manner because we always act the way we describe ourselves. I am a motivational and high content speaker. For years, I yearned to be more humorous and entertaining in my talks. However, using humor was a very big challenge for me. Why? Because I always described myself as motivational, not funny. So what happened? My audience members would comment about how motivational and inspirational I was. They never told me that I was funny. I finally decided that if I was going to be able to add humor to my talks, I had to stop saying that I wasn’t funny. I decided to be open to being more entertaining. The result? Over time I easily incorporated one liners and humorous content into my talks. People began to describe my style as motivational and highly entertaining. Amazingly, a number of audience members told me that I missed my calling and should have been a stand-up comic instead of a speaker. What happened; did I suddenly discover a funny bone? No. By stopping my negative words, I was able to let my natural wit emerge. (I still don’t have them rolling in the aisles, but at least my audiences and I have more fun.)
NOTICE YOUR ‘YUK’ FEELINGS
The first step in discontinuing your negative words (whether you say them to yourself or others) is to recognize when you are doing this. Here’s a clue. It’s what I call my ‘yuk’ feeling. Whenever I say something negative or limiting, I feel a negative sensation in my body. For me, it can be a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach or stress down my spine. When I feel that awful feeling in my body, it is a clue that I am engaging in negative language.
Why does this happen? Most people know that the mind and body are inextricably linked. One affects the other. The words that we use also register in our bodies. If we use positive, upbeat words it allows our bodies to feel empowered, energetic, and ready to take action. If we use negative words, it causes stress or a “yuk’ feeling somewhere in our bodies. Determine where your ‘yuk’ feeling is. When you are experiencing a challenging situation, notice where you feel it in your body. Does your ‘yuk’ feeling express as a clenched jaw, tight muscles at the back of your neck, pressure at your temples or somewhere else?
DARE TO DEFY YOUR INNER CRITIC
Once you’ve determined that you are in a ‘yuk’ state, then pay attention to your language. You might be shocked at the negative things you have been saying to yourself and others. No wonder you’ve been feeling so stressed! However, just noticing these words is not enough. Remember, negative words affect your feelings and behavior so you must start to challenge them. Instead of telling yourself that you are overloaded and can’t possibly do all the work you have to do say, “Stop it!” You must quiet the inner critic. Tell yourself that, of course you will get everything done, because you always complete whatever you need to do. When you do this, pay attention to the ‘yuk’ feeling and notice that it has disappeared.
DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT IT TO BE
One of the reasons that highly successful people are so outstanding at what they do is because they consistently use positive language. Again, optimistic words create positive feelings and actions. These accomplished individuals describe their lives and experiences in affirmative terms which causes them to behave in ways that lead to success.
The good news is that it is not that difficult to transform your words and behavior. Recently, I was having lunch at a professional meeting. I began talking to one of my table companions about exercising and having the motivation to continue a regular program. She told me that she used to be a regular fitness enthusiast, but she let it slide and now she couldn’t get motivated to work out on a regular schedule. After speaking with her for a while, I told her that if she didn’t stop saying that she wasn’t motivated to exercise, she never would be motivated to start and maintain a fitness program. I told her that if she wanted to make a change, she had to get rid of the negative way she was describing herself with regard to exercising. I also told her that awareness is the first step to making a positive change. Being aware of the negative language that we use, challenging it, and describing what we want instead, will allow us to take control of our feelings and behavior. A week later, my associate sent me a note and told me that I ‘motivated’ her so much, she got up at 5 AM to go to the gym and had been doing it several days in a row. She also told me that it was easy and she did not know why she hadn’t done it before. The reason it became so easy for her to change her behavior and do what she wanted to do was because she changed her negative language. When she used positive words, she did not need me to motivate her, she motivated herself.
So the next time you catch yourself saying something like, “I’m so depressed” or “I’m sick and tired of this,” stop it. Your words no longer have to mess up your life. Choose words that describe what you want to experience and watch what happens.
About The Author
Della Menechella is a speaker, author, and trainer who inspires people to achieve greater success from the inside out. She is a contributing author to Thriving in the Midst of Change and the author of the videotape The Twelve Commandments of Goal Setting. She can be reached at della@dellamenechella.com. Subscribe to free Peak Performance Pointers e-zine – send blank e-mail to mailto:subscribe@dellamenechella.com.
Planning To Work Abroad
Working abroad can be an exciting, rewarding and horizon broadening experience; and if you take the time to plan ahead carefully before you go, you will make your transition into the overseas work place a smooth and successful one.
So, if you’re considering relocating overseas to take up a temporary assignment or you’d like to move abroad permanently and find work there are basically three main aspects of expatriation that you need to think about before you make your move and this article examines them for you.
1) Location
Unless you’re being relocated by your employer to a fixed location you will quickly discover that it’s a big wide world and you therefore have a great deal of choice when considering which country best suits your lifestyle and employment requirements. In an effort to narrow down your search a little consider any country you’re interested in in view of the following considerations: -
i) The location’s distance from your home country and your family and friends ? remember that there will be times you want or need to return home and/or to catch up with old faces. How easy and affordable will it be for you to go ‘back home’ should the need arise and how simple will it be for your friends and family to come and visit you?
ii) The weather ? some countries are more or less hospitable in weather terms and someone who originally heralds from Tropical North Queensland may find it a struggle to cope with the wet, grey winters in England for instance and someone from Canada may find is a shock coping with the searing summer temperatures in Spain. Thinking about your ideal overseas location from a weather perspective may well cut down your choices!
iii) Your family ? particularly if you’re expatriating with children you’ll need to think carefully about the healthcare and education facilities available overseas and also about getting your essential insurances in place before you go. Some countries are more expensive and restrictive than others?bear this in mind.
iv) Language barriers ? if you’re considering moving to a country where the mother tongue is other than your own will this restrict your employment prospects? Can you overcome this by learning the language before you go or do you need to reconsider your destination?
2) Employment
Are you a professional in a given industry or do you have a flexible skill set that will allow you to seek work in many different sectors? Do your qualifications translate favourably and transfer directly overseas? What sectors would you like to work in, in which countries can you find work in a profession that suits you?
These are all questions you have to consider carefully. Next, if you’re moving overseas permanently you need to be practical and realistic and consider the long term employment prospects for you, your spouse and any other family members accompanying you?if you can find employment today how easy will it be to change employer or advance your career later in life?
You should then examine your desired location carefully and determine whether or not you need work permits, residency visas and permission to work and live abroad, if so you should get the ball rolling and apply as soon as possible in case of any paperwork and administrative delays.
Also consider the taxation and financial aspects of working abroad?remember that if you’re moving to a low cost country the economy will likely pay lower wages than you’re used to, will these be sufficient to sustain your ideal lifestyle?
3) Accommodation
Last but not least is the thought of finding somewhere to live abroad. By now you’ll have a clear favourite in the location stakes but now you need to examine the property market and whether it’s easy and affordable to rent accommodation when you first arrive and whether, long term, it’s possible for foreign residents to purchase freehold property abroad.
If you’re planning on moving abroad permanently you’ll also need to think about moving your household belongings and personal effects with you, and what about transporting your pets overseas too?
There are many relocation companies who specialise in relocating individuals and families abroad, these companies have a fantastic skills base to assist you with every single aspect of the process. If on the other hand you’re on a budget or looking to work abroad for a shorter period of time use the internet to find forums and information sites dedicated to expats, working abroad and the particular countries you’re interested in and you’ll quickly be amazed at the wealth of invaluable information out there.
Rhiannon Williamson is a freelance writer based in Cyprus whose many articles about living and working abroad have appeared in expatriate publications around the world. Visit this link to read her latest articles about: North Cyprus
Perfect Beauty of Kayden Kross
All kinds of entertainment are available over the internet. It’s not only on music and movies; you can also get other genre of entertainment. Porn is certainly on the top rank. People from all over the world can easily share and get new porn collection. You can easily find the complete selection for any porn star that you like.
Even though all porn stars are gorgeous and have great figure, you certainly will notice Kayden Kross on the choices. She has all qualities that every man wants in a girl. With her perfect physical beauty, she brings intellectual charm on her appearance. Her pale green eyes reflect intellectual beauty that will capture any man who looks into her eyes. So, getting new pictures and videos on this goddess certainly will keep you entertained. You can find unlimited choices for Kayden Kross on Blake Logan, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t get other collection on this porn star.
Just check the choices in Blakelogan.com. Here, you will find complete selection of porn videos from various porn stars. At competitive price, you can get any videos on any porn star that you want. So, grab your new collection on Kayden Kross videos and enjoy the beauty that she brings to your life.
How to Improve Your Life Every Day
Growing Towards Excellence
Would you like to become a better person? If I did a survey asking people this question, I’m sure I would receive 100% response YES!
Let me ask you a question:
“Who started today deciding on one thing they were going to be aware of and work on today to make them a better person?”
I asked this question recently to a room full of people and only one person said YES!
Many of us have desires and aspirations that we would like to see fulfilled in our lives, but are not actively taking action to make those things happen. It can be difficult to relate what happens in the present to the results we would like to see in the future. However the future is prepared for today, by the choices we make and the way we invest our time and energy.
Most people want to be the best they can be, but get discouraged because it seems such a huge mountain to get there. We live close to Burnaby Mountain, and often take the dogs for a walk there. There’s a really pleasant trail near the bottom, shaded by trees, along the bank of a stream However when it is time to walk home up the steep hill the prospect seems daunting. I can never walk up it without pausing for a break somewhere. At the steepest part of the hill every step seems a huge effort, and I eventually stop to get my breath. When I look back however, it is amazing to realize how far I’ve come. My whole perspective changes! The process of walking is automatic normally. When we walk, our mind focuses on other things unless the going gets tough. We make progress but it is not a conscious process. That is because walking has become a natural habit for us. This is also true of life and the skills we learn. The mechanics of driving a vehicle become second nature, as the skills become so well practiced and familiar that we do not conscious think through each action. It becomes almost instinctive, as natural to us as breathing.
To consistently grow towards becoming better in our lives we need to create new habits that will move us there. At first implementing a new behaviour, thought pattern, or action into our lifestyle is a very conscious act. It’s like walking up the steepest part of the mountain. However that is only in the beginning stages. It only takes thirty days to form a new habit. Then, that positive habit in our life becomes more a natural part of us. It moves to the more subconscious part of our life.
Pat Riley said “Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better.”
To move towards more excellence in your life, the journey starts and will continue to be one small step at a time. One small step a day is far more effective than to make a resolution to take a huge jump forward, and then not make any progress for a while.
Gradual – it is a process, and not seeing the results immediately can be discouraging. One helpful thing to do is to set small landmarks with some motivating reward when they are achieved. It is good to have the attitude and habit of always striving to do better in every area of life all the time. However I would also suggest a focus on one main thing at a time, and as that becomes habitual in your life, select another area of focus. Always -it needs to be every day; a small discipline at first that becomes a positive habit. I would suggest developing as part of your morning routine a time and place when you deliberately pause and reflect on the new lifestyle habit you are presently working on. During that time consider your specific goals for that day. What arte you specifically going to do or how will you change a thinking pattern to reinforce your growth in that area. Set a goal for the day. It is helpful to read or carry with you a short sentence or quote that will motivate and remind you of your goal during the day. Perhaps a Post it note in the car, or kitchen as a way of re-focusing during the day, it needs to be a daily conscious act, otherwise days missed turn into weeks, discouragement sets in and it becomes easy to give up. When a new habit is formed and is part of your lifestyle when you look back you will be amazed at the changes you see.
To take even just a couple of minutes set aside at the beginning of your day is a very powerful key and works well. We all need frequent encouragement and motivation. It also is an excellent way to start your day positively, and will set the tone for the day. Knowing how important daily motivation is, I have compiled a collection of quotes taken from people who have taken these principles and applied them successfully to their lives. If you need an inspirational tool to aid you in this process of growing towards better in your life this e book is for you. You can have a quote to help you to set your goal for the day every day for a year. The book can easily be printed, so you can take your quote with you. To find more information, or to get this book within minutes go to http://www.livingbeyondbetter.com/daily-quotes.html
Barbara White, a former Principal and teacher, is now president of Beyond Better Development. As a speaker and author, Barbara brings her passion and expertise to work with people to help them grow towards excellence and their unique potential in their personal and professional life.
This article was written for her complimentary newsletter Growing Beyond Better.
This article may be used with the authors name and website http://www.livingbeyondbetter.com included. Please email a link or forward a copy of the publication if published.
This Is Why People Should Consider Granite Countertops
Granite countertops are among the most beautiful things you can add to your kitchen. Kitchen countertops gain a beautiful glow from these pieces of art. They are made in nature and, once harvested by people, are refined into beautiful kitchen countertops that will add value to any kitchen. They come in many colors, colors that are made in nature and of true iridescent quality.
Of course there are other options beyond granite countertops. Other choices include anything from concrete countertops to corian countertops to laminate counter tops. Whatever choice you make for your solid surface countertops, take some time to research your options. Many of these choices are expensive investments in your kitchen. Learning some about your options will benefit you in the long run.
Some information about each of your choices is here. Corian countertops, also known as DuPont, are a blend of natural materials and acrylic polymers that together create a smooth, clean, seamless work space. It is available in 90 colors and will need to be specially ordered. They also boost of their nonporous surface that is easy to clean and stays new looking for years. Or, if you want something more art like, look into concrete countertops. Basically in any shape or style you can imagine, they are what their name suggests, made out of concrete. It is a completely different look then the granite or corian. Here you are only limited by your imagination.
Yet another choice is laminate countertops. This is the most common kitchen countertop available. It is synthetic, made up of colored plastics. It is available in many colors and even patterns and finishes. It is easy to upkeep and tends to be less expensive then the others mentioned.
Lastly, while considering your choices, choose whatever fits your budget and tastes. With so many choices and options available, it is definitely worth the investment of time in choosing kitchen countertops that you will love for a lifetime.
About The Author
Mike Yeager, Publisher
The Best Cable Sports for the Greatest Experience of Watching Sports on TV
Sport game is always fascinating. Even if you only watch the game, you can feel the rush of adrenaline in your blood vessel. Watching live game is surely the best thing. However watching sports on TV is not that bad either.
We know that getting the ticket of a sport event is a tough job. It’s getting more difficult to get if it is the sunday ticket. It seems like everybody goes to the field to watch sport game. The tickets are always sold out. This is how a television can save your life. Watching sports on TV still enables you feel the adrenaline rush with the convenience of your home. You don’t need to leave your home but you can still enjoy the live game. There are so many choices of sport games on television if you have cable sports channels. You can even watch multiple sport games at the same time and the only thing you need to do for this is just switching the channel. There are so many TV cable sports service out there, including Cox cable sports.
Just make sure that you only take the best cable sports service. You also need to buy the one that is most affordable for you.
The Big Key to Freedom
When our clients are exposed to our company, they are often impressed with how we really stress the concept of Freedom – and well they should be. Our central core value is Freedom, our web address is deliverfreedom.com, heck- it’s the name of our company! At the same time I see that the vast majority of individuals I meet do not have the kind of professional or personal Freedom they really desire and deserve. Do you?
If you listen to our two-minute trainings (a practice I strongly encourage), you may have heard me discussing what I call the “keys to Freedom” over the past few months. Last month was about having the right opportunity (click here to listen to past month’s training tips.) This month’s sound bite is about having or developing an effective system to unlock Freedom. Because it’s just that critical, I wanted to devote this article to the biggest key of them all- making the right choices.
The role of our choices is central to how much Freedom we experience. In fact, we define Freedom as “the capacity to exercise choice”- and when I say exercise, I literally mean exercise like a muscle. The more you properly exercise a muscle’s capacity to lift a weight, the larger that capacity grows, right? Same goes for your choices. The more you exercise your choices properly, the larger your capacity for choice grows. What we must be aware of in this analogy is two things:
1. Choice is inescapable. There is no such thing as not exercising choice. Whether you like it or not, you are always making choices, even when you choose not choose. As a result, the only possibilities are to exercise choice properly or improperly. There is no third alternative.
2. The consequences of our choices are also inescapable. When we exercise choice properly, our Freedom increases. When we exercise choice improperly, our Freedom decreases. There is no third alternative.
If you think about it, you’ll see that this is true in every area of Life. As an example, if you make bad choices or no choices about your money, your financial Freedom will decrease. If you make good, proactive choices about money, your financial Freedom increases. I could give examples of this same cause/effect relationship in the physical, professional, spiritual, relationship and educational areas all day long, but you get my point. I encourage you and challenge you in the weeks to come, to be mindful of the choices you make every moment of every day and see the results they are giving you. You have the power to change your choices. When you do that, you change your Life immediately.
Be free!
Roger Seip
Roger Seip is a nationally known memory trainer. He has help thousands of students across the country improve their memory as well as study habits. His new program, The Student’s Winning Edge – Memory Training, teaches students how to train their memory to study more effectively and get better grades. For more information on how your student can have a more Powerful memory visit http://www.MemoryTrainingForStudents.com or email info@MemoryTrainingForStudents.com
Many Choices for Gambling on The Online World
Have you ever visited the online casino? What can you find there? If you have, your answer will be online gambling games to be found there. Well, yes, it is online casino and it is supposed to be gambling games to be found here.
Online casino is now numerous, isn’t it? Every time we open the internet, there will be a new casino advertised by its provider. It seems we have too much choice of casino to be visited by the internet nowadays. We will get confused immediately since we have no much reference about which casino is the best on the online world. We may need to visit www.onlinecasinoeasy.com since it provides the latest news related to the online gambling world. There are also articles which discuss about not only the gambling games, but also the tricks and the tips to win the games. It means we will get both information of the recent condition in gambling world and information about the games inside the casino online that we will never lose a way to create a strategy to win the games easily.
We may need to visit the website as soon as possible since the new casino online has called us to enter it.
